03/13 - L. Ron Hubbard's Birthday

It's L. Ron Hubbard's Birthday. Sure, I could just as easily have used Bobby Rydell or Neal Sedaka, except that it really isn't Bobby Rydell's Birthday and Neal Sedaka never invented a religion. We need people to keep inventing new religions just in case all of the existing ones are somehow imperfect in some detail or another. Mr. Hubbard didn't just invent a religion, he did a lot of stuff. For example, he wrote Sci-Fi.

75 million years ago, Xenu, the ruler of a galactic confederacy, gathered billions of the citizens of said confederacy, paralyzed them and then froze them in a glycol-alcohol mix. These victims were then flown to earth on spaceships looking exactly identical to the Douglas DC-8, like the one pictured above, but without the engines. They were then unloaded, stacked around volcanoes, and blown up with H-bombs. Their souls were then captured with electronic ribbons and, essentially, brainwashed. But I won't spoil the ending, in the first place, it's worth tons of dinero.

'Mediocre Sci-Fi', you opine? Not so, for starts, because it is gospel truth, or at least a religious truth of Hubbard's new religion, which, like all religious dogma, is absolute guaranteed truth. And, even if you were to doubt that, I would remind you that there are innumerable corners of the internet where questioning, criticizing, challenging or, Ishtar forbid, mocking even the least atom of any religious dogma is treated as hate speech and you wouldn't want to be some evil hater, now, wouldja?

N.B. I'll deal with Mr. Sedaka later.

This is the anniversary of the start of the eighty years' war, a rebellion of various peoples including the fabulous Watergeuzen against the Hapsburgs, including Philip the Sap, which eventually led to the existence of the Netherlands.

Speaking of Sci-Fi, Uranus was discovered on March 13, and Pluto's discovery was announced on March 13.

Annnd in 1954, General Giap began the humiliation of the Franco-CIA joint neo-retro-colonial force that was trying to recreate French Indochina.

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On this day in history:

0624 -- The Battle of Badr, known as the turning point of Islam. 1567 - The start of the Eighty Years' War 1697 -- The capital of the last independent Maya kingdom fell to the conquistadors. 1781 -- William Herschel discovered Uranus 1845 -- Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto premiered 1848 – The German revolutions of 1848–1849 began 1884 -- The Siege of Khartoum began 1897 -- San Diego State University was founded (originally San Diego State Collge) 1930 – The news of the discovery of Pluto is announced by Lowell Observatory 1943 -- German forces liquidated the Jewish ghetto in Krakow. 1954 -- Viet Minh forces under Vo Nguyen Giap began the Battle of Dien Bien Phu eventually resulting in a US invasion 1969 – Apollo 9 returned safely to Earth after testing the Lunar Module. 1979 -- The New Jewel Movement staged a nearly bloodless coup in Grenada indirectly leading to the later US invasion 1988 – The Seikan Tunnel opened between Aomori and Hakodate, Japan. 2003 – An article in Nature identified the Ciampate del Diavolo as 350,000-year-old hominid footprints 2020 – Breonna Taylor was killed by cops who were forcibly invading her home pursuant to a "no-knock" killing permit

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Some people who were born on this day:

You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion.

~~ L. Ron Hubbard

1593 -- Georges de La Tour, painter

1700 -- Michel Blavet, composer & flautist

1720 – Charles Bonnet, naturalist

1781 -- Karl Friedrich Schinkel, architect & painter

1855 -- Percival Lowell, astronomer & mathematician, founder of Lowell Observatory

1864 -- Alexej von Jawlensky, painter

1870 – William Glackens, painter and illustrator, Ashcan School founder

1884 – Hugh Walpole, author and educator

1892 -- Janet Flanner, author & journalist

1902 -- Mohammed Abdel Wahab, singer and composer

1908 -- Walter Annenberg, publisher

1908 -- Myrtle Bachelder, chemist who worked on Mnhattan Project

1910 -- Sammy Kaye, saxophonist, bandleader & songwriter

1911 -- L. Ron Hubbard,

1913 -- William J. Casey, politician & spook

1921 -- Al Jaffee, cartoonist, most notably for MAD.

1925 -- Roy Haynes, drummer & composer

1929 -- Bunny Yeager, photographer & model

1930 -- Blue Mitchell, trumpet player

1932 -- Jan Howard, Opry singer

1933 -- Mike Stoller, songwriter & producer, especially with Jerry Lieber

1938 -- Erma Franklin, did original Piece of my Heart, Aretha's big sis.

1939 -- Neil Sedaka, pianist, singer, songwriter

1942 -- Scatman John, pianist, singer, songwriter

1950 -- Charles Krauthammer, physician & author

1951 -- Charo, singer and guitarist, Cuchi-Cuchi

1956 -- Jamie Dimon, uber capitalist, chief of shadow government of the USA

1960 -- Adam Clayton, U2 bassist

1962 -- Terence Blanchard, trumpet player, bandleader & composer

1966 -- Chico Science, singer, songwriter, founder of manquebeat

1975 -- Glenn Lewis, singer & songwriter

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Some people who died on this day:

The worst enemy women have is in the pulpit.

~~ Susan B. Anthony

1842 -- Henry Shrapnel, general, inventor of shrapnel 1906 -- Susan B. Anthony, activist 1938 -- Clarence Darrow, lawyer 1943 -- Stephen Vincent Benet, poet & author 1990 -- Bruno Bettelheim, quack & mis-educator, shrink 1998 -- Judge Dread, singer who holds record for most songs banned by the BBC 1998 – Hans von Ohain, physicist and engineer 1999 -- Lee Falk, cartoonist, playwright, director & producer 2006 -- Robert C. Baker, anti-gastronome, inventor of the chicken (mc)nugget 2013 -- Cartha DeLoach, feeb, sleaze, Jedgar's gofer

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Some Holidays, Holy Days, Festivals, Feast Days, Days of Recognition, and such: L Ron Hubbard's Birthday Donald Duck Day Ken Day

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Today's Tunes

Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto

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